Current Crisis of Dharma
Yesterday I realized that I've been buzzing like a bee, visiting people who are living their dharma.
If you’re not aware of what “dharma” is, it’s spoken about at length in a little tome called the Bhagavad Gita — which is part of an ever epic-er poem called the Mahabarata. Dharma can be defined a lot of ways, easiest is “Sacred Duty.” But I casually refer to it as “what it is God put you here to do.” Stephen Cope, in his book “The Great Work of Your Life,” describes being in contact with people who are working their dharma and that they are “lit up.” I say this because when someone is on their dharma it’s easy to see. I say this so that when I tell you that I have a skill for spotting people on their dharma you know I don’t claim this as a gift, it’s more of an attunement: you can see these people too.
My dharma was awoken in me years ago — I know exactly what it is. I can point to it. Describe it simply, or specifically and at length. In short: I know why God put me here. And I know how to do it. But it’s going to take some time, and it’s going to be very difficult, but I can’t wait to do it. And that’s why I feel the need to write this today.
If you map my life since arriving in Metro-cities almost 10 years ago it will look scattershot — it’s a path that winds and has a lot of dead ends. I’ve started a lot of careers, a lot of relationships, a lot of hobbies, each one I’ve cut short. I have a lot of regret over these things, not that I’ve left them behind but I constantly wonder. Not if it was the right decision, but maybe there were fruits that I could have reaped if I didn’t leave so soon.
For the last year I’ve been working in Bengaluru which is integrally linked to hip-hop culture. Phrases go in and out of style (read: YOLO), and one that was popular not to long ago was “Just do you.” This is actually from the Bhagavad Gita. Krishna (God) tells Arjuna (the guy who is having a crisis in doubt) that it is better to do your own dharma poorly than another’s dharma well. Better to live your own life poorly than succeed at a great masquerade. Whoever came up with “Just do you” obviously wasn’t trying to quote a 3,500 year old text, but it speaks to the pervading and immortal truth.
The one comfort that I have when I look back at these paths I’ve chosen to leave behind is that I know they weren’t for me. I work hard, and excel at most things that I do, and so for almost every one of those paths I had the possibility of a bright future — but the future was never mine. Every time it’s been for someone else. I don’t know what my future is, but I know what my path is and it’s time for me to start walking it. It’s my responsibility to myself — but it’s also my responsibility to you.
The title of this blog — that you probably never see because you probably read this off your dashboard — is “Who the Fuck are You to Suffer.” This is a sentiment that I picked up when I was learning to teach yoga. What I learned in that study is how closely we’re all connected. And that the way you live, and act, and feel affects the people around you. And even if you’re not surrounded by empaths, your thoughts, feelings and actions are part of the planet’s aggregate. And who are you to raise the net suffering of this world? That you can either suffer and make the world suffer with you, or you can find joy and make the world have just that much more joy in it.
Further, Cope describes in his book a story about Indra — the Vedic version of Zeus — who lives at the top of a sacred mountain, Mount Meru. Indra, from his high peak, casts a huge net that stretches out forever in every direction. And at each vertex, what would be each knot in the web, is a glittering jewel. Since the net stretches infinitely, there are infinite jewels. Doesn’t seem like much of a story until you crack open the meaning: each one of these jewels is different, and each one reflects every other jewel. Cope quotes Alan Watts, philosopher and psychologist, saying, “in each reflected dewdrop, the reflections of all the other dewdrops in that reflection. And so on ad inifinitum.” Each one of these jewels, these dewdrops, is a human soul — each one represents a person. We are all reflecting one another always, and it is our responsibility to “be that jewel at that time and in that place, and to be that jewel utterly.” To do otherwise would throw everything else off. If you’re not following your dharma you’re literally bringing down everything else in existence.
Arjuna, the protagonist of the Bhagavad Gita, is a warrior who is trying to shirk his dharma. He’s caught at the beginning of a great battle where he is set to kill his family members, friends, mentors, because they’ve rose up against him in evil. And he tries to make the case to Krishna that he shouldn’t kill anyone — there’s nothing sacred or dutiful about that. But Krishna tongue lashes him saying that not everyone can be a monk –we have monks who are being monks. Arjuna’s job here is to lead this battle in this horrible war, and though it’s bloody and violent, it’s his. Anything else would be a lie.
A lot of people go their whole lives looking for their dharma and never find it. Even more are unaware that they have a dharma and don’t bother looking for it. Others, like Idiot (my boss), find their dharma without looking — it finds them. I’m incredibly blessed that my dharma found me but I’ve been putting it off. And I apologize to everyone that I’ve lowered the net joy of the planet, and that I’ve forced you to reflect an imperfect jewel. But I’m going to try to fix it.
I’m not going to promise by saying “Starting today I’m…” because I’ve already started. I’ve been pouring droplets into the bucket since I discovered this years ago, but I am going to start bringing my focus to it. I have to rearrange my entire life to bring it to the center. It’s already uncomfortable and I’ve barely started. Any promise I’d make here would be a promise to you, and although that would be sweet and perfectly writer, the promise has to be to myself in my own heart. I’m still writing that promise, still figuring out what it needs to be. And I’ll still keep attaching myself to people who are living their dharma. But, hopefully, one of those people I can attach to will be myself.
muku 07:25 27–08–2020 Bengaluru, Karnataka
